Mr. Trainer

Favorite Sugar Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed when he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite sugar cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered enough strength to get out of bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom.

With even greater effort, he forced his bony fingers to grab the handrail and he went down the stairs, one stumbling step at a time.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of sugar cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he lunged .toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips were slightly parted. The wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

His aged and withered hand shakingly made its way toward a cookie at the edge of the table, when suddenly it was smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," his wife said. "They’re for the funeral!"

The Prodigal Son

A Sunday school class was being quizzed on the story of the prodigal son. The teacher asked one child, "Who was sorry when the prodigal son returned home?"

The boy gave it some thought, and then answered, "The fatted calf."

Old Age

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.

Awards

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

You Might Be A Redneck

You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

Revenue Sharing

Gotta love it when the government talks about "revenue sharing." it sounds so dignified, so important. Isn't that what a mugger does?